I know I'm not the Lone Ranger on this one, so you will imagine how I was feeling when I left my three-year-old in an operating theatre on Tuesday - anxious and, of course, filled with guilt.
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We are finally getting all her ear, nose, and throat problems sorted out. And the prospect of an end to constant illness combined with the thought of a full night's sleep is delightful, but it's a double-edged sword.
![The front of a Big W store. Picture is from file The front of a Big W store. Picture is from file](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/TimAB2MTHanvQWPwhBc6mp/410882c4-b09e-4db6-96e9-38099046ed2c.jpg/r0_31_600_368_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
After spending her whole life trying to protect her it seems incongruous that now we're pushing her into pain.
Interestingly, my first reaction was to head to Big W and buy my way out of guilt. As I wandered around with Mr Potatohead and four books, I debated with myself if a $101 dancing Bluey plush toy was too much. (Spoiler it was, as was Mr Potatohead).
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Let's face it, I know this kid better than the back of my hand and she won't give a toss about toys, even overpriced dancing Bluey toys, after her procedure.
She'll just want cuddles (free), head strokes (free) and strawberry-flavoured ice cream.
These days it feels like everyone and their kids are getting their tonsils and adenoids out. For those who don't know, your tonsils are the pieces of soft fleshy tissue on each side of the back of your neck. When they're well behaved you don't really notice them. When they're not however, it can be super painful. The adenoids are similar but at the back of your nose.
![Not all heroes wear capes, like the doctors that did Eadie's operation on Tuesday. Picture is by me Not all heroes wear capes, like the doctors that did Eadie's operation on Tuesday. Picture is by me](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/39334uWFriQ6mZbDw7tBDLC/15e1e83f-e083-4131-a989-4dd28dcab313.png/r0_0_1920_1079_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
If you have big adenoids and/or tonsils it can stop your kid from breathing normally through the nose or mouth. They can also cause throat and ear infections and other icky things.
It's not a huge deal to have them removed. In 2017 to 2018 there were 42,509 hospitalisations for tonsillectomy according to Australian commission Safety and Quality.
What started for us as an expedition to get more sleep (surely, there was something medically wrong...right?!) turned into something a bit more urgent.
Turns out Eads was prone to an ear infection which could have been impacting on her hearing development. Which probably explains why her preferred response to any question I ask was "huh". So we have high hopes for the grommets she is also getting inserted.
But, how do explain to a three-year-old that a tiny little bit of rubber in her ear will stop her ear aches?
After spending her whole life trying to protect her it seems incongruous that now we're pushing her into pain.
I've never been under general anesthetic, never had any organs removed, never even broken a bone. Perhaps this is exactly why I was holding so much anxiety for this ordinary, run-of-the-mill operation. It will, after all, make Eadie's life a lot easier.
It took a hot minute but I did manage to realise I was spending so much time trying not to project my fears onto her. Buying my way out of the guilts is never going to work. Obviously, I have some stuff to work out there.
The Frozen memory game and a Hungry Caterpillar activity book will be waiting for her when she gets out of recovery. More importantly, so too will be our undivided attention - and strawberry ice-cream.
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