Christmas can be a lonely and stressful time for carers, particularly young carers, with the added pressure of caring for a loved making the festive season a bit more challenging.
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LiveBetter's Carer Gateway team hosted a Christmas morning tea at Kate Jones @ One Nineteen on Wednesday for carers who look after children, siblings, partners, parents and grandparents who have medical or mental health conditions.
Carer Gateway peer support partner Louise Fossilo said young carers are aged under 25 and there are carers as young as eight who look after siblings while their parent or carer is unwell.
Mrs Fossilo said they face extra pressure of trying to make Christmas a good time but they also do not have the respite they get by going to school and being a carer can be isolating.
Julie Jackson was one of 15 carers who attended the Christmas party in Orange and said it offered a chance to connect to others and to do something that makes her happy.
"I'm caring for two people at the moment, my daughter [Sarah] has autism, ADHD, mild cerebral palsy, severe sight impairment, and high anxiety," Ms Jackson said.
She said later this year her mother, who lives with her and helped support Sarah, had an operation for a 5.8 centimetre tumour in her lung despite being a non-smoker.
"It was just relentless, it's just constant," Ms Jackson said.
"It got to the point last year I had to give up working altogether, you sort of find yourself losing yourself and you think, 'this is it for me'."
However, she said the carer gateway helped remind her she is important, reconnect with other people, and the events give something to look forward to each week or fortnight.
"I can relax for an hour or two or three and that person at home is OK," she said.
"That little bit of time for yourself enables you to come home with a bit of a different perspective.
"Some of these people [at the morning tea] say 'I haven't been out in years, I just sat at home with the person I've been caring for',".
After leaving work Ms Jackson also enrolled in a postgraduate degree in autism following Sarah's diagnosis due to community misconceptions and negative experiences Sarah had as a result of misconceptions. Ms Jackson is now an advocate for children with autism.
She said Christmas could be challenging, but it is manageable by maintaining a routine and taking Sarah home if she is struggling during a Christmas visit.
Carer Gateway Christmas advice for carers
- Don't be hard on yourself - you and the person you are looking after deserve a break. If you are exhausted, you will struggle to cope and care and have no enjoyment yourself.
- Keep it simple - don't overdo it. Routines are good, familiarity is reassuring and regular mealtimes will help to reduce pressure.
- Trust your instincts - if plans are no longer appropriate, feel free to change your mind. If you think your loved one will be unsettled, cancel or shorten your plans to fit the situation.
- Ask for help - you are important too and as a carer it is common to feel huge responsibility.
- Rest, delegate tasks and say no to things to ease stress.
- Stay positive - something may go wrong, it's inevitable. Don't panic, instead keep it in perspective and keep moving forwards.
- Plan ahead - many organisations, shops and chemists close over Christmas or have a limited service. Ensure you supports organised, additional medication and supplies.
- Admit it's difficult - there is no shame in finding being a carer difficult and it can be a relief to say so. Ask for help when you need it and be explicit about how people can help you.
- Talk to other carers - you can get comfort and support by talking to other carers in the same situation. Check online groups and forums, or telephone helplines (but check Christmas opening times).
- Find time for self-care - go for a walk, read, have a relaxing bath, anything that gives you the time to reset and focus on you.
- Stay connected to social groups or caring circles - there's a good chance the person you are reaching out to might be needing that connection too.
- Maintain balance - Eating food that keeps you energised and getting enough sleep can set you up and is proven to help you cope with extra stress and anxiety.
- Access services for carer support - Some services, such as Carer Gateway, remain operational over the festive season excl public holidays. Call 1800 422 737 or online support is available 24/7 at carergateway.gov.au
- Enjoy yourself - while everything might not go as planned there will also be aspects of your day that are beautiful and meaningful. For those needing additional support during the holiday period contact Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737, Lifeline on 13 11 14, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636, Family Helpline on 1800 643 000, Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008 or the Women's Domestic Violence Helpline on 1800 007 339.
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