According to Craig Sugden, he couldn't kick the top off a custard tart on the training paddock but that didn't stop him from drilling one of the best free kicks you'll see all year on Saturday night.
The effort helped Waratahs United FC register their first win of the Western Premier League season, as they downed Macquarie United FC in an 8-5 thriller at home.
During the week, midfielder Ryan Sinclair urged his sky blue teammates to 'just play football', and the veteran took his own advice in fourth minute, chipping the keeper from the side of the box for the game's first breakthrough.
The goals came to a halt for the next 21 minutes until Macquarie's Rhys Osbourne took an ambitious strike from 30 metres out, a risk that paid off deluxe.
It was one of many screamers on Saturday as Osbourne played it off his chest before casually dropping it over the keeper's head from a different postcode.
The visitors were stoked after the goal, but might have became a touch complacent as Sugden struck with the aforementioned free kick just 60 seconds later.
The mark was a mere 30 centimetres outside the box as the right footer swung it into the top right corner, leaving the keeper for dead.
"I practiced about half a dozen of those at training and they all ended up in the paddock," Sugden said.
"I was pretty happy with it... that was only my second touch of the game."
While the game looked somewhat competitive on paper, the home side took a commanding lead in the ensuing five minutes as Ryan Sinclair scored his second after putting away a penalty.
The veteran midfielder made an impact again just moments later, swinging a peach of a cross into the box that hit Guy Burgess smack-bang on the forehead for an easy finish.
From then on, the visitors were playing catch up, and while they netted four more goals, they weren't ever able to put a lid on Waratahs' defence, something coach Paule Craine was disappointed with.
"The reality is that we were poor in the first half tonight," Craine said.
"We got the result we deserved. We showed we can match it with them for a half, but you've got to play two.
"We're still missing four players from our main side, we'll get those defensive players back next week and we'll go again."
It was a blistering win for the home side, but Sugden knows there's still plenty to work on.
"We need to compose ourselves and make the right decisions... we lost our heads a couple of times," he said.
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