Paula Flanagan said the grief over the death of her husband, John Flanagan, in November had been hard enough for her family without now having to battle legal issues and extra costs.

"I don't want other families to go through what we have gone through," she said.

The nursing home's managing company said a letter of probate was required under the Aged Care Act before it would return the money, but Mrs Flanagan said when wills were straightforward it was unnecessary and the law should be changed.

Probate is a Supreme Court of NSW order which confirms the will of the deceased is valid.

"I will be writing to the appropriate politicians to highlight the need for change," she said.

Mrs Flanagan said she paid the home a $140,000 'fully refundable residential accommodation deposit' just before her husband died.

She said she and son Mark were told by a company representative at the time the money could be returned within two weeks of when they requested it.

"What she omitted to say was that if death occurs there had to be a letter of probate, which involves time and a cost to myself," she said.

Mrs Flanagan said her husband's will was 'simple' and straightforward.

She said her solicitor had sent a letter to the nursing home's managing company claiming probate was not necessary.

"My husband left a simple will that his estate would be passed to me, then to our sons in the case of my death. So easy, quite clear," she said.

Mrs Flanagan said she had been paying about $126 a day for her husband's care at the home before deciding to pay the RAD fee which would replace the regular payment to cover his treatment and accommodation.

"I gave what I could to ease the burden of the accommodation fee," she said.

She said she needed the money returned promptly but was facing a wait of several months.

"You can imagine how upsetting and annoying this is to me and my family, also knowing how upset my husband would be at such nonsense. He was only a resident at the home for approximately four-and-a-half months before he passed and I handed over the RAD two weeks prior to his passing," she said.

Mrs Flanagan said she wanted to "alert people to the hidden nasties when it comes to the financial arrangements" over placing people in nursing homes.

"Make sure that it is made quite clear to you about the arrangements in place for the return of your RAD under any circumstances, including death," she said.

"I would like to know how it is that the managers of a residential home can virtually override my husband's will and create nonsense and unnecessary angst."

A spokeswoman for Opal Aged Care, which manages the nursing home in which Mr Flanagan resided, said it was following the law (Aged Care Act 1997).

"Opal abides by the processes of the court to obtain the grant of probate. This is normal practice across the aged care sector," she said.