Six months, 20 days and counting.
Chris Grevsmuhl has, for nearly seven months now, been a better man.
Not necessarily the man he thought he'd be, that bloke was always meant to be playing in the National Rugby League.
It was all he'd known.
But this man, the one he sees in the mirror every day, is one he loves. A better father. A better husband. A better friend. A better man.
"It's only early for me," Grevsmuhl said, that count, six months and 20 days, the time he's been clean and sober after experiencing the depths of depression and addiction.
"I'm coming up to seven months clean and sober.
"I always disliked myself and had friends and family who withdrew themselves because they didn't want to be hurt either.
"I live a good life today. I don't have much, but I have family, I've got friends. I've been given a really good life thanks to Brothers 4 Recovery ... I was quite lucky I found him when I needed him."
The him Grevsmuhl refers to is Steve Morris, his Orange CYMS teammate.
The pair runs Brothers 4 Recovery, a not for profit charity developing a range of services and workshops to help those battling mental health, drug and alcohol addiction as well as reaching out to those battling with suicide.
The charity is run out of Orange and aims to help those around the Central West, an area both Morris and Grevsmuhl believe can miss out. Too many people fall through the cracks.
They, themselves, were those people falling through the cracks not so long ago.
Battling with inner demons is a lonely place. Grevsmuhl has been there, and come out the other side, but admits being dubbed a "no-hoper" hurt, and made the situation worse.
"It's hard to hear, a lot of people don't understand what words can do," the former South Sydney, Penrith and Gold Coast Titans backrower said.
"I have the conversation with people every day. What people say on social media, on the internet, in person ... it breaks people down.
"Words can push people further and further and most of the time when someone's at their whits end it leads to those suicidal thoughts.
Steve has been a massive part in my life, and we're just hoping we can go out now and be that light at the end of the tunnel for people.Chris Grevsmuhl on Brothers 4 Recovery's Steve Morris
"Steve has been a massive part in my life, and we're just hoping we can go out now and be that light at the end of the tunnel for people."
Monday was World Suicide Prevention Day, a day used world wide since 2003 to help prevent what is a devastating disease.
Grevsmuhl and Morris are hoping to use their Brothers 4 Recovery platform to help raise enough money to take up that fight right here, in the Central West.
They're staging a Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Gala Night at the Hotel Canobolas on Thursday, September 26.
Phil Gould will MC the night while anyone who followed this year's State of Origin series will have heard of Bradley Stubbs - the coach whisperer. He'll be at the gala night as well.
Joe Williams and Sean Weir will be special guest speakers, too, making for a huge night, with auctions and prizes offered throughout the night.
Grevsmuhl says the hope is simple - to give hope to those that need it most.
"It'll always be tough to speak up, but we want to slowly break down the stigmas," he said.
"The old fellas in the community saying 'forget about it' or 'it doesn't matter how you feel' ... it's bullshit.
"Once you release the valve and let out all that pain, the emotion inside, you're a better person for it and I can guarantee that.
"I know myself, when I was full of emotion and anger and hate and resentment, I was a toxic person and no one wanted to be around me. I didn't want to be around me.
"It's good that I've been lucky enough to find Steve and Brothers 4 Recovery and now be part of it and help get it in the community."
Grevsmuhl had a promising rugby league career in the NRL before walking away from the game in 2016.
His demons haunted him while in the NRL and continued to do so despite removing himself from the pressure-cooker of Sydney when he moved to Orange.
But his meeting with Morris and Brothers 4 Recovery at the start of the year turned it all around.
I always thought I'd be a rugby league player instead of where I am today but I absolutely love where I am in life.Chris Grevsmuhl
At 26, Grevsmuhl is still open to a return to the NRL, he's played the last two seasons with Orange CYMS in Group 10.
He says he loves rugby league but helping others has given him a whole new level of fulfillment.
"That face you see when you see someone well and back with their family, and be a father to their children and be a husband for their wife or partner it's something special - there's not much close to it," he said.
"I remember when I first had my daughter when I went into recovery and it was the best day of my life.
"And I still get to see glimpses of that every time we go out to a community and we can help.
"The look on their faces, when people can love themselves again, it's awesome."
He says the work he's doing today is now his passion. Where once it was all about himself, now Grevsmuhl's focus is on others.
"'I always thought I'd be a rugby league player instead of where I am today but I absolutely love where I am in life," Grevsmuhl added.
"I don't have much, but I have everything I need in life at the moment."
Tickets for the Brothers 4 Recovery Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Gala Night can be found on the charity's facebook page.
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