STOP PRESS: Normal tones to take a back seat in dog relationships

MAN'S BEST FRIEND: If a university study is to be believed, talking to your dog like a baby will build a better bond between the two of you. Photo: CONTRIBUTED
MAN'S BEST FRIEND: If a university study is to be believed, talking to your dog like a baby will build a better bond between the two of you. Photo: CONTRIBUTED

‘Areyouagooddoggy?’ or ‘C'est qui le bon chien?’

Researchers from the University of York have just backed up earlier British and French studies that found if you want to build a good bond with your dog, you need to use exaggerated talk just like you would talk to a baby and you’ll be loved all the more for it.

But does it work?

Stop Press was on hand – or is that paw? – to overhear a conversation between a loving owner and her Labrador retriever called Charlie after she decided to try baby talk to further the bonding.

“Does my ickle Charlie wan sum yummy yummy meatie bites?”

Now let’s imagine Charlie’s response.

“Woof woof, I’m really clever, friendly and social. Grrr. You don’t need to talk to me like a baby. I want to demonstrate my expertise and become a therapy dog to help reduce anxiety and stress of people attending Orange Local Court.”

“Nah, wouldn’t my ickle Charlie wanna go for walkies instead?”

“Ruff, ruff. No. I have extraordinary intelligence. I am a highly-versatile breed and hence ideal to be trained as a court therapy dog. Even Vladimir Putin owns one like me.”

“Well, diddums my ickle Charlie wanna play ballies then?”

“Woof woof woof, growl. Nooooo. I want to do something for the community by being an Orange Court therapy dog and, by the way, I wish you’d stop talking to me like a baby. I’m bloody well over it.”

Baby talk? Back to the researchers.

FUTURE OF FIVE-CENT COINS?

THOSE of us who have a piggy bank in the cupboard will probably have noticed fewer five cent pieces turning up in change.

Many people regard them as a nuisance and millions of these coins drop out of circulation each year.

So it’s only a matter of time before the Feds give the OK to wave goodbye to our smallest piece of shrapnel in the same way the one and two cent coins were ditched in the early 1990s.

There’s been lots of talk that because we’ve moved to electronic transactions and eventually will become a cashless society, the five cent piece will become redundant.

If it’s ditched there’s no doubt prices will be rounded up to the nearest 10 cents so we’ll be paying more for our groceries, although it looks like that’s happening now with most prices finishing in 99 cents rather than 95 cents.

And apparently it costs the mint more than six cents to produce five cent coins, more than their face value, so it looks like our smallest coin is destined for the scrap heap. But will it worry anyone?

TIME TO GROW UP, BOYS ...

THE Australian cricket team as usual is acting like a mob of spoiled schoolboys with their infamous so-called sledging, or calling opponents names, to put them off their game.

What’s happening in South Africa is a disgrace but the South Africans are no better. You’d think they could just play cricket without having to rely on ridiculous comments to get a player out.

Here, calling people names can get us into hot water under the Racial Discrimination Act that forbids us from saying anything that’s reasonably likely to offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate another person or group of people.

Somebody should probably remind the Australian team when it’s playing at home.

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