I’m gay.
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It’s a fundamental part of who I am, just as your sexuality is a fundamental part of who you are.
I didn’t choose to be gay, and I believe that most Australians understand that one’s sexuality is an innate and unchangeable part of a person’s make up.
I’m also angry and hurt due to our government’s insistence on holding a non-binding, expensive survey on same sex marriage.
This is a survey that is utterly unnecessary since poll after poll indicates the majority of Australians either support SSM or couldn’t care less either way. A survey that is as safe from mail fraud as the average piece of junk mail.
I’m forced to suffer the indignity of discussing something as private as my sexuality in a public forum.
Nevertheless, our government insists that we can and should have a respectful debate about this issue, so here we are. Here’s my two cents.
When I was a teenager growing up in Orange, frankly, it sucked. Although I was hardly ‘out’ back then (in fact I tried my hardest to change my sexuality, having girlfriends, praying to change, and trying in vain to act as straight as I could).
People could tell I was different, and I was bullied daily.
HAVE YOUR SAY …
I was spat on and beaten up; one time at school I was strangled from behind until I passed out.
On another memorable occasion I passed two complete strangers in broad daylight on a busy main street in Bathurst, one of who called me a well known epithet beginning with “F” while his pal said to my face, completely unashamed of who else might hear him, that I was lucky he didn't have his shotgun on him because he would have shot me dead there.
I guess if you haven’t lived through this it’s easy to brush this stuff off as relics of a bygone era (hard to believe the 90’s are now retro), but a childhood spent in low-level fear interspersed with periods of feeling utterly cut off and helpless has a long-term affect on a person.
Some gay teenagers don't make it out alive.
This isn’t histrionics to make a point, it’s documented fact. And although gay people have made huge leaps in being accepted, even embraced by the broader community, homophobia is still alive and well in Australia.
And this brings me to why it is so, so important to me and people like me that we gain equality.
Yes, it’s about marriage, and yes, I can say that it’s symbolic or that it only directly affects me and my partner and family, but there’s something more fundamental here.
As long as the leaders of our country say that gay relationships are not deserving of the same official respect and ceremony as straight ones, there will always be an unspoken understanding among some segments of the community that gay people are not deserving of respect.
This suggests it’s okay to hate gay people; therefore it’s okay to act upon that hate with verbal and physical violence.
Let me say, I reject the notion that everyone who feels that traditional marriage should be between a man and a woman is a bigot, far from it.
Some gay teenagers don't make it out alive. This isn’t histrionics to make a point, it’s documented fact.
- Tim Hansen
Whilst I believe in my heart that marriage is about love and not gender, I respect that others feel differently, and I will not affix labels to someone because they’re different to me.
I’ve been lumped with a label since I was a kid and I’m sick of it.
I will ask this however: if you haven’t yet made up your mind, please remember what this debate is really about.
Already some opponents to SSM are claiming this issue is ‘about’ a whole host of things: political correctness gone mad; a gateway to polygamy, bestiality, or worse; about creating a generation of children denied loving families, which is one of the most hurtful and easily disproved claims, since gay people have been having children and raising them since time immemorial.
This debate is not about any of those things. It’s about empathy, humanity, and the dignity of equality.
And the best way to bring a swift and final conclusion to this whole palaver is to vote yes on the upcoming survey.