In addition, no amount of glib speeches by politicians, when handing out funding packages, will disguise the reality that a family member, often the spouse, will need to carry out the bulk of the day-to-day care when they themselves could be aged or in poor health.

A sense of loyalty keeps them going in between the times that a palliative support person comes. Yes, that support is wonderful, but it is limited.

And what of those people who can't express their wishes? My husband, if his mind was not clouded by Alzheimer's disease, would probably have wanted to die at home.

When the time comes, he will die ‘at home’ – in his aged care facility – whose staff treat him kindly and care for him in a way I never could.

They regard it as a privilege to look after residents around the clock in their final days. In the end, all we can hope for is a peaceful death.

Originally published in the Sydney Morning Herald