That’s probably the most apt way to describe yours truly during and after last weekend’s Outback Obstacles course at Towac Park.

To be fair, there’s an argument to be made about me being sweaty and pathetic all the time really, but that’s a discussion for another time.

Most people who know me are well aware my idea of fitness doesn’t often stem further than lazing about on the cricket oval or plodding around a rugby field in the lower grades, rarely making it past a slow trot in either.

Basically, to throw in the obligatory Simpsons quote, my attitude is pretty similar to Homer’s – “if something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing”.

And Outback Obstacles was hard.

It’s tough to truly give you an accurate gauge of how tough it was but it was more difficult than the Federal Falls loop and nowhere near as tough as sitting through an entire episode of Gossip Girl, if that’s any help at all.

It was pretty taxing, for everyone in the group I did it with. All Orange Emus boys, of varying levels of fitness.

Mind you, the beer we had at 9.30am prior to the event thinking it would be a piece of cake probably wasn’t the best preparation.

More than anything we enjoyed ourselves and were granted a fairly decent workout at the same time, despite my original thoughts upon arriving at Towac Park.

Prior to the event I was expecting a seriously tough, teamwork-based course but when we arrived, those expectations were lowered substantially.

VIDEO: Check out the Outback Obstacles course, from Matthew Findlay’s perspective

I was unconvinced having seen a hunk of the course on the drive in.

That may be because while I’ve never done Tough Mudder, True Grit or the Spartan race, my expectations were born from seeing videos of those events. 

Of course, it was a tiny portion of the course and my skepticism was short lived.

Those pessimistic thoughts were blown out of the water once we hit the course, which we all had a ball on.

It utilised the existing structure – natural and otherwise – at Towac Park and the only real criticism I’d have is that the obstacles were too spread out.

There was a lot of running between obstacles, the best of which were in the middle of the course when  they become more congested and everyone was forced to wade, or swim, through Towac’s dams and army crawl through a mud pit with barbed wire looming close overhead.

Having done Outback Obstacles we’re now all considering the likes of Tough Mudder, so last Saturday could end up being somewhat of a gateway for us to go bigger and better. 

In hindsight, it’s probably not fair to compare it the far bigger scale operations and rather instead, just take it for what it is – a smaller scale obstacle course, focused on bringing the concept to regional areas.

That’s the really great part about it, the more of this type of thing Orange and other rural areas can host the better.

I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and will when it – hopefully – returns.

Forgive all the heavy breathing, whinging and badly executed Forrest Gump quotes on that video too.

By the way, one of the best quotes from that movie is oft forgotten, when Forrest’s speaking of the Vietnam war – “we took these real long walks, and we were always looking for this guy named Charlie”.