Much like the Loch Ness Monster, rarely are goal-kicking props thought of as anything more than wives-tales, myths or legends.
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So imagine Wallabies legend Matt Burke’s disbelief when he spied yours truly slotting goals from past halfway at Endeavour Oval on Tuesday night.
Well … maybe it was only 30 metres and maybe I didn’t actually get that many. Matt Burke was there though.
Unbelievably, he offered to give me and three other never-going-to-bes some advice too. Being very part-time kickers, we jumped at the chance.
Yep, that’s right, the greatest fullback in Wallabies history teaching, in particular, a pseudo goal-kicking prop and a bearded second-rower who is convinced every game will be his ‘John Eales moment’ how to kick goals properly.
It was outrageous, there wasn’t a genuine kicker in sight.
Let me set the scene; me and three other Emus were having a kick after training, while Burkey – we’re on nickname basis – was chatting on the sideline following his book signing.
Surprisingly, we were hitting them okay. I’d nailed a few long-range kicks so I was fully expecting Burkey to label me a right-footed Jonny Wilkinson.
He did the opposite, marching over and proclaiming, “I can’t let you guys keep kicking like that”.
I don’t know about the others, but I thought I’d been doing okay. Much like my approach to Tinder, turns out I’d be doing everything wrong.
He tweaked – tore apart – our techniques and there was a few shanks to begin with, some worthy of a classic ‘do you want some gravy’ sledge.
Burkey’s advice worked though, in fact it was incredibly effective.
I’ll now be modelling my style on Burkey, right down to kicking off a mound of sand.