Can you remember the pungent smell of coal dust and soot, that wonderful hissing of excess steam and the ear-splitting screech of brakes?

Well, the way things are going, those great tin dinosaurs could be used to take us back to the future.

Our XPT is almost clapped out with the 34-year-old rail cars travelling an average of 10 million kilometres, equal to nearly 13 times to the moon and back, while the locos’ engines are packing it in around every 250,000km yet there’s still no signs of a replacement and it’s probably doubtful we’ll get one. In the meantime the State Government can find the money to upgrade Sydney trains with a $2.3 billion contract awarded to a South Korean company to build a new fleet, but there’s nothing in there for us.

So we need a plan B to ensure we retain a rail service and the government probably wouldn’t give a toss if Lachlan Valley Rail at Cowra, always looking for a dollar, stepped in.

The group of dedicated rail buffs spend most of their spare time restoring old steam trains like the 102-year-old flagship 5367 called Rosy or 113-year-old 3026 but both are still capable of hauling accredited passenger carriages without breaking down, something that can’t be guaranteed with the XPT. Of course a steam trip from Orange to Sydney would be a couple of hours longer than the XPT but Lachlan Valley Rail has a restored sleeper car and passengers could take it in turns to have a quick snooze to help pass the time. There’s also an old dining car that could dish up hot pies and tomato sauce for refreshments.

Meantime the XPT has to slow to walking-pace on sections of the main western line because of the poor condition of the track and when crossing antiquated worn-out wrought iron bridges like the one over the Macquarie River at Bathurst that was built in 1876, but that wouldn’t worry the old steel dinosaurs.

However, a steam solution faces a major buffer. The government has closed Lachlan Valley’s rail access and its Cowra fleet is marooned, although some trains escaped to the southern line at Junee, so we can’t even turn the clock back 100 years to guarantee a train. You wonder whether anyone in the government really cares about country rail.              

We’re looking at some sort of record here: Just how long will the post office clock hands stay jammed on five past 11?

It’s been nearly four years since the clock gave up the ghost and nobody in Australia Post seems to care. Or even know.

Surely it’s time someone climbed up there and fixed the thing because it’s the only public clock in the shopping centre and it’s far from a good look for visitors as well as locals while it’s not ticking away.

Why do Orange checkout operators still find it too difficult to work out simple sums?

If your bill, for example, comes to $5.10 and you give the operator $10 and a 10c piece to get a $5 note in change rather than $4.90 in silver, they can’t do it. Some give you a funny look and hand the 10c back saying they don’t need it. Others take the 10c and still give you $4.90 change, dudding you for the 10c. Surely a 10-year-old kid would know that $10.10 minus $5.10 is $5. So what are they learning at school?