What the gossip mags say this week

YOU'D think by now that celebrities would have figured out that taking photographs of themselves in the nude, allowing someone else to take photographs of them in the nude, or swanning about in the nip when there's even a remote possibility they might be photographed - even from space - is possibly not a great idea. Because, inevitably, the pictures will get out. This week the latest star to learn this lesson seems to be Justin Bieber, who may or may not (depending on which magazine you read) have taken a few happy snaps of his wedding tackle and stored them on a computer that was stolen. Famous quotes the miffed singer as complaining: ''Sucks when u take personal footage and people don't respect your privacy'' to his 28 million Twitter followers, leading to speculation about just how personal the footage was. ''It appears the 18-year-old's happy snaps might have been X-rated,'' Famous concludes, ''proving'' things by running a headless picture of some skinny bloke with his pants down who may, or may not, be Bieber. ''With the emergence of this photo comes the worry - or hope, for some - that a Bieber sex tape is looming,'' adds NW, which at least wasn't crude enough to add the image into its new ''Wang Watch'' section and accompanying ''Wangtastic Guess Whose Trouser Snake'' game, which even the editor admits is ''stupid, but it made us laugh''. It's not as stupid, or as laughable, as the latest chapter in the Brangelina wedding debacle. New Idea reports Angelina Jolie wants to get married at a city hall then have a party; her partner Brad Pitt wants ''something more elegant'', but their son Pax, eight, ''wants a Transformers theme'' while Shiloh, six, is pushing for a ''Monsters Inc'' look. The kids are the wedding planners? This will end well! No wonder Woman's Day is convinced that ''the wedding's off!'' - at least until someone can source a huge purple furred bridal gown and a wedding car that turns into Optimus Prime at the conclusion of the ceremony. Maybe they can hire Bieber as the wedding photographer? Thankfully these aren't concerns for The Farmer Wants A Wife host Natalie Gruzlewski, who reveals in New Idea that she is not only heading for the altar, but the maternity ward soon thereafter, without revealing much about the nuptials. ' ''There are plans for next year,'' she says, ''but nothing specific yet.'' How refreshingly normal.

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