While they might not have expected to be single again in their 50s or 60s it does happen to a lot of people.

For many, this situation involves having to make the choice of  staying single or getting back into the dating game after your previous relationship has ended.

It’s not a decision to be made lightly as there are a range of emotional and financial  issues you should consider.

You can suffer  as much emotional pain at 58 as you did at 18 and a failed relationship  at this stage of life has the potential to be financially painful as well. 

With that rather depressing warning hopefully considered, if you decide that you would like to try dating again, think about the following points before you start:

Can you leave past relationships in the past?

It’s important to grieve after a relationship has ended. You may go through the stages of shock, denial, anger and sadness. It’s only when you reach the stage of acceptance that you are ready to start dating again.

Have you learnt some valuable lessons?

Can you identify what was good about your pastrelationships? Can you identify what was not so good about your past relationships?  Have you identified what are the warning signs/ danger signals? Have you identified yourown strengths and weaknesses?

Do you trust your instincts?

When you feel uncomfortable or have nagging doubts abouta situation or person will you have the confidence to ask questions and clarify? Can you set clear boundaries?

Do you know what qualities are important to you in a partner?

What do you value: honesty, trust, independence, reliability, affection, outgoing personality, confidence, sense of humour, positive attitude, similar life goals?

Do you have balance in your life?

Do you have a good mix: friends, work, family, hobbies,interests, exercise and community involvement? Don’t go looking for a crutch.

Do you have a positive outlook?

Are you grateful for the good things in your life? Do you feel optimistic about life in general? Are you ready for new experiences? Can you live in the moment and not dwell on the past or project too far into the future? If your answers to these questions make you feel pretty confident, then you’re probably ready to start dating again.

Attract the positive

Be genuinely interested in the people you meet. Be adventurous and try meals that you don’t normally eat,dance to music that you don’t normally dance to, learn to talk to people who are younger or older. Life is all about experiences Be careful not to put expectations on your outings. The only expectation you should have when you go out the door is that you will enjoy the experience. Be focused on enjoying yourself and you will enjoy yourself.

www.mylifechange.com.au.