But for a solution we could look at novel ways to beat the breathalyser tried by the Scots who also like a drink or two because whisky has been a natural part of their life since 1494 when a friar named John Cor distilled the first batch at Lindores Abbey in the Kingdom of Fife.

So after a session at the pub Scots are wary about getting behind the wheel and one bright spark who downed a few too many Johnnie Walkers last week thought he’d do the right thing by leaving his car and going home on one of those big bouncing jumping balls called a space hopper.

He bounced down a busy street but the cops picked him up and handed out the appropriate warnings for being a drunk-driver although they took no official action.

What if we tried something similar here to avoid being nabbed for drink-driving?

Just think. You’ve had a few beers at the Great Western so you hop on your jumping ball, bounce off down Kite Street but are then pulled over by a highway patrol car and breath tested.

If you fail, are you busted for PCA, just given a warning or what?

It’s a curly one because the Road Transport Act dealing with PCA offences and driving defines a vehicle as meaning “any description of something on wheels”.

That includes bicycles although PCA drink-driving offences specifically apply only to motor vehicles and cyclists are charged under different laws of riding under the influence of alcohol.

Obviously a jumping ball isn’t a vehicle because it hasn’t got any wheels.

So if a copper catches you happily hopping down Kite St, does he charge you with bouncing under the influence?

No doubt there’s an obscure law in there somewhere but you’d be wise not to put it to the test.

It’s best to leave the jumping balls to the Scots and call a taxi.

IF Orange is ever going to get a better daily train service, the Bathurst Bullet is the key because there’s little chance the state government will spend millions taking some bends out of the track between here and Lithgow to save 20 minutes for the XPT.

In fact the XPT fleet is approaching the end of its economic life and NSW TrainsLink could give it the chop and put on buses rather than outlaying the big investment required for new rolling stock.

So the Bathurst Bullet is the way to go.

After arriving at Bathurst at night the Bullet is taken back to Lithgow for an overnight sleep of less than four hours and is then driven back to Bathurst again early the next morning before loading passengers and going to Sydney at 5.49am.

It could be brought on to Orange instead, rather than back to Lithgow, and spend the night here, giving us an early morning Sydney service.

There’s a loco shed at Orange railway station that housed the Silver City Comet but it’s now leased and full of garden supplies.

The Bullet is made up of two recycled Endeavour railcars and a third would need to be added if Orange was included in its timetable.

Each car can carry 95 passengers, is similar to TrainsLink’s Xplorer and is designed for relatively short trips.

The Bullet has only limited stops. It leaves Sydney for the return trip at 5.50pm and gets back to Bathurst at 9.35pm.

Bathurst showed that determination got results and we should be just as determined to hijack part of their train.

A SANDWICH walks into a bar and asks for a lunch menu.  The barman: “Sorry we don’t serve food here.” 

THE ABC radio commentators for the Australia-India Tests had a tough time brightening up a pretty ordinary series that fizzled out with two boring draws.

Jim Maxwell, Drew Morphett and their colleagues did a fair enough job, were authoritative and knew the field positions to the inch, but who wants to hear precise descriptions of what’s going on?

Remember that grand old team of John Arlott and Alan McGilvray, Arthur Gilligan, Vic Richardson and Charles Fortune?

They were excellent on birds, seagulls, the weather, clouds, what people in the stands were wearing, described brilliantly any disturbance on the hill and knew every plane that flew over the ground.

John Arlott always made a dull match exciting. Like the day Clive Lloyd belted a six into the stand and he described it as “the stroke of a man knocking a thistle top off with a walking stick ...”

Or his commentary on a streaker, who he called a ‘freaker’. “Not very shapely, and it is masculine and I would think it has seen the last of his cricket for the day. He is being embraced by a blond policeman and this may well be his last public appearance but what a splendid one.”

It’s definitely not cricket anymore.

THE old shop and two-storey house on the corner of Summer and Woodward streets will be demolished soon and the site cleared.

But it’s not known what the council intends to do with it, if anything, other than get rid of an eyesore.

The site adjoins the old Esso Park but its future isn’t clear either.

There’s been suggestions it could all end up a car park for the high school but it’s unlikely the council will hand over good land for nix to the education department.

In the meantime, you should be pleased to know the site has a designated ‘emergency assembly point’ marked on the fence if there’s any chance of it crashing down while you’re walking past.