“You’ve got to learn to say no. If you don’t, you forget yourself, and then your life is all out of balance.”
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Blayney woman Joan Mathieson is a multi-carer, and says that taking respite for the first time in January this year since she began caring full-time 20 years ago gave her the time to herself she needed to reset the harmony in her life.
Under Ms Mathieson’s care is her severely mentally disabled daughter and her teenage granddaughter who is showing signs of severe post traumatic stress disorder after a tumultuous childhood. She also cared for her mother during the last years of her life in the early 1990s, and regularly checks in on her 73-year-old brother in Narooma who has Parkinson’s disease and is developing dementia.
In her late 70s, Ms Mathieson said she had never taken the time to do something for herself because she was always looking after a relative.
“I never had a break. It was my duty, I didn’t think of it that way, because I loved my mother and my daughter, but people who are in need expect you to do things for them. They don’t realise you have to do things for yourself too,” Ms Mathieson said.
“You feel isolated, on a little island without anyone there to talk to or support you.”
Until only a couple of years ago, Ms Mathieson was not aware of the support networks available to full-time carers.
After talking to CareWest staff, she began taking respite breaks in January, and at the same time began to take free counselling sessions provided by the National Carer Counselling Program, which she said have completely changed her life.
“I found, in my respite breaks, how unbalanced my life had been. You have to have the time and the environment sectioned off to do things for yourself otherwise you’ll never do it,” Ms Mathieson said.
“I am happier than I ever was, despite everything that seems to be piling up. I think people need to know there is room to manoeuvre and people to help you out, no matter what. I will never be alone.”
l The Commonwealth Carer Respite Centre provides a single point of contact for information on community, aged and disability services and carer support. To get in touch and find out how they can help, call 1800 052 222.
alexandra.king@fairfaxmedia.com.au