CRICKI LEAKS: Paper cut should sting Ryan’s pride

CRICKI LEAKS can only assume Orange coach Steve Ryan rarely frequents hospital maternity wards.

From all accounts Ryan has only made two visits in the past; one for the birth of his lovely daughter Katie and the other for the birth of his not so lovely daughter James.

However, Cricki Leaks can exclusively reveal today that Steve spent two nights last week tucked up in the maternity ward of Westmead Hospital.

Ryan’s family needn’t fret of course, for the Mickey Arthur-ish mentor wasn’t skipping off to the big smoke for the birth of a secret love child.

No, Ryan was visiting Westmead for an ailment of his own, one much more sinister.

In fact, he spent 48-hours attached to a saline drip because of ... a paper cut.

That’s right, a paper cut.

Lemon juice turned from delightful garnish to Ryan’s worst enemy for those two days, which he spent being doted on by wrongly sympathetic maternity nurses.

We hope all that ice-cream tasted good Steve, because letting a paper cut stall your journey to becoming the best coach since Coach Bombay took over the Mighty Ducks should sting your pride for a lot longer than that box stung your finger.

Emilio Estevez would be ashamed.

CRICKI LEAKS: TREMAIN SHOWS FAITH WITH HIS PREDICTIONS

Speaking of fingers, Ned Morrish is pointing his squarely at Cricki Leaks, and new desk favourite Neddie Wright!

Morrish is reportedly furious with this desk’s more recent love affair with Wright.

Morrish refused to speak to Cricki Leaks directly, but channelled Liam Neeson in a press release yesterday.

“Mr Wright,” Morrish said.

“I know who you are, but I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a ransom, I can tell you I don’t have any money. What I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long fast bowling career. If you stop trying to replace me as the Ned of Orange cricket, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t stop this charade, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

Calm down Ned! Cricki Leaks will never forsake you.

As Tina Turner once said, you’re simply the best, Ned Morrish

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