UFOs plot a flight path to Orange

HAVE you seen any flying saucers lately?

 It seems Orange is on a crossover point on plotted routes of unidentified flying objects (UFOs) which, ‘the experts’ say, has been established by a grid system set up by ‘approved’ sightings.

They say the UFOs fly in straight lines and turn at angles of 45 and 90 degrees with flight paths about 15km apart and forming a triangular pattern.

 Other crossover points in the district, ‘the experts’ say, are near Newbridge, at Cargo, Molong and Canowindra.

 So every now and then little green men from outer space apparently fly down to have a look at us in their bell-shaped, disc-shaped or cigar-shaped flying saucers that usually hover 200m above the ground before speeding off in a loud roaring noise.

 Flying saucer sightings tend to provoke cynicism but those of us inclined to dismiss UFO watchers as geeky conspiracy theorists who also believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden or those who spend too long in the pub might have to take all this stuff more seriously.

Documents from the National Archives of Australia, now available after the 30-year rule, list a number of UFO sightings including one on radar by senior air controllers at Mascot that almost resulted in a scramble by RAAF fighter jets to have a look.

 But now NASA has received images from its Curiosity rover on Mars that includes a white light moving across the horizon of the red planet and four blobs hovering in the sky.

 While the images are certainly a curiosity, NASA and photography experts insist they’re nothing more than blemishes on the images, picked up by the camera lens sitting on the rover at a distance of 350 million miles away.

 So far, NASA has not commented on any of the strange sightings but UFO hunters reckon they’re alien ships monitoring our visits into the universe.

Mayor to a tee

THE pro at Wentworth Golf Club told a player he couldn’t tee off because the course was fully booked.

“But you know I’ve been a member for 20 years,” he says.

“Sorry,” says the pro.

“If the mayor lobbed here now for a game I bet you’d make room for him.”

The pro agreed he would.

“Well,” says the member. “I just happen to know he’s in Sydney today so I’ll take his place.”

Mundane mobiles    

 DID you know there’s a woman in Orange who was driving to work when a wheel came off her car, rolled down the road and hit the side of a parked van, causing more damage.

 The woman called her husband to pick her up to take her to work but, you wouldn’t believe, he had an accident on the way, damaging his ute.

Who was this unlucky couple?

  Who knows. The woman was on her mobile phone telling a friend her story in an excited voice so loud that half the shoppers in the City Centre could hear.

And a few metres away a tradie was arranging to meet someone at the Great Western Hotel at 4.30pm when he finished painting a house.

It’s the worst job he’s ever had and one he wished he’d never taken on.

He too was on his mobile talking so loudly the whole world could hear him.

Why is it people every day with mobiles glued to their ears apparently have no concerns whatsoever that everyone within half a mile can listen in to their conversations.

 It seems mobiles have become public amplifiers for the mundane goings-on of strangers and the mindless insights  like the young girl explaining in detail what she would love to do with her boyfriend after just breaking up.

  Spare us, please.

Singing Jason’s praises

GOODONYA Jason Owen.

You didn’t take out the top prize in X-Factor but you gave it a real shake and everyone in the country reckons you’re a winner.

 We’re all proud a boy from the bush showed the city slickers there’s life over the mountains, despite being bashed by government, and especially in the small towns like Albert that will bask in your success for months to come.

Stamp of disapproval

 REMEMBER when the post office just sold stamps and you went there to post a letter or a parcel?

Now, with Christmas approaching but most of the time anyway, the queues are out the front door and there’s a long wait while people pay all sorts of bills, get passports, birth, death or marriage certificates, get identity checks, have document signatures witnessed and buy all sorts of things except groceries, and that mightn’t be far off.

 You often wonder what happened to the good old-fashioned post office.      

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